Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Help! I'm stuck in a hole!

Yeah well not a real hole. Just the hole of college. :/. I really do not know what to do anymore! Everyone is telling me. "oh just push through! You will make it! It's going to be okay!!". Yes I know! I study all the time. Constantly at it. And remember how I was waiting for my cat dissection test grade? Well I thought I did pretty good. Ole girl over here made a 20/100. Hah. I LOVE HOW COLLEGE MAKES MY CONFIDENCE GO WAYYYY DOWN. I tried as hard as I could. And I failed. I feel like I'm dangling off a cliff and someone let go. :/. I hate this. I know my family is trying to help. I've always wanted to be a nurse. ALWAYS. I've always wanted to be a teacher. ALWAYS. heck. I wanted to be a meteorologist. UNTIL I FOUND OUT THEY HAVE TO STAY DURING A HURRICANE. That dream flew out the window with hurricane Katrina. Ha. I well since I made a 20 I am failing my biology lab. And I cried all afternoon. Brandon (my boyfriend/love of my life :) ) told me he just wants me to be happy no matter what career path I choose. That's why I love him so much :). He understands me so well. :). I was told I can just retake it. But come on. Is it REALLY worth it? I want to be a nurse. I want to be a teacher. I want that teacher schedule. I want that RN schedule. I'm so confused. And I have to have my schedule for next week. My parents would probably kill me if I switched to teaching. I feel like everyone will be so disappointed. :(. But don't I have a say so in MY future. The journey getting to become a nurse is HARD! Almost harder than pre med. which was quoted by my best friend who is in pre med. :/. I just wish I could say. Okay I want to switch to education. Okay boom. Education. Happy. But my family will be upset. But this is my future. ( probably repeating everything like crazy because I'm writing as I think! Sorry :)).). High school was a BREEZE! I never had to study. I made straight A's and B's! I was eighth in the class and graduated on stage. Everyone was so proud! College. I failed my history class. I dropped my English class. I made a 2.3 grade average. Now I have failed my biology lab class. But my other grades are up. I have a C in math. I have an A in English. I have a C in history. I have a C in biology lecture. I think :/. My dad will probably blame my grades on "moving in with that boy!". No. Ha. I blame COLLEGE! And it's stupid way of things. "were going to make it so hard that we only have a 23% graduate rate." HOW STUPID IS THAT. I'm really thinking about switching to education to teach third grade. I would LOVE IT! I don't care about the pay. I didn't care about the nursing pay. Yes it was nice. But I would have to specialize. I would be so happy as a teacher.

My daddy always told me I would be the one who took care of them when they got old. Was that because I was going to make a lot of money? Or because I was becoming a nurse. My family always ask me question. MEDICAL questions calling me nurse. I love that. I don't want to lose that. But I can't handle. When my family asks me how's school going. And I say I switched my major. No more nursing. They'll look at me as a failure. :/. Will they? People have choices? My sister changed her major like five times. No one looked at her as failure. But I know they will to me. Im a CNA right now and I'm tutoring kids instead. Sign?! Lol. I do not know. Any comments would be great! I'm going to bed. Til next time!

2 comments:

  1. Sammi, No one would ever look at you as a failure if you were doing what you wanted and following your heart. I know, (trust me I KNOW) that sometimes you have worked so hard in school for so many years you just get burnt out. You have had little to no breaks between high school, working, and college. If you feel like you want to get your education degree and then maybe continue to one day work on your nursing there is nothing at all saying you can't. There are people who get 2 and 3 degrees in a lifetime. Either profession will provide you with a job. Just ask yourself which one you would do for free, which one you would enjoy even without the paycheck. That is what you should be doing. For the record, I always said you were going to grow up to take care of babies because you always had 4 or 5 baby dolls around no matter what you were doing. You also owned a projector to play school with as a kid, so it would not come as a surprise for you to become a teacher, a nurse, a mommy (at least 5 years from now lol) ... I just don't want you to quit if it's just because it's hard, you need to enjoy what you are being educated in as well as what you will eventually do with it.

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  2. Education is going to be just as hard and time consuming. It will just be a different kind of material. Instead of learning medical terms and chemistry, you will have to learn really boring biology (been there) and lesson plans. Two of my close friends are teachers and lesson plans almost killed them and made them want to change their major.
    Take me for example, my first major was Psychology. I loved it! But I didn't want to be in school for 8 years so I decided to switch to teaching. I liked some classes and others I didn't, and I felt like I didnt want it bad enough, so I switched to Mass Communications. Now, I had to take College level Spanish - which was extremely difficult, give 20 minute speeches - I hated giving speeches, and write MULTIPLE 20-25 page research papers. Mass Communications is all about writing papers and giving speeches. But I stuck with it and I ended up absolutely loving the upper level classes. The first classes you have to take will always suck no matter what your major is. I stuck with Mass Communications because I enjoyed it. I didn't mind writing the papers and the speeches because I really loved the field. Don't be afraid to explore and find what you really love to do. After all, whatever you choose is what you'll be doing for the rest of your life. :) and it is hard. it will not be easy no matter which path you choose. ;) love you

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